Okay I just got into a relationship and my boyfriend likes AB I’m not sure how I feel about it. I don’t care that he likes it and I want him happy but I just haven’t been with
people that are into it.
Id say go slow.. take your time and look for overlaps in what you enjoy and what he enjoys. Most people find that there is some form of genuine overlaps in what partners enjoy, you just have to discover what they are.
Start by asking… “What does the fetish means to you” (as everyone is different) pick out the specific key elements are for him and see which of them you can work with. Take one of those elements at a time and see how you feel with them worked into your relationship. Its most important to be clear with what you enjoy and more importantly what you don’t enjoy and communicate all aspects of it.
Tell him about things you want to try as well, Fetish play is a two way street, so every compromise you make for him you should get an equal one back again, All sexual or non-sexual play is a form of negotiation of desires between the involved parties. be as honest with him as he has been with you…Dont get him to do the dishes in return or put out the trash or anything mundane.. unless of course you want a domestic slave or maid as part of your side of the fantasy. If you’ve established any form of power relationship inside your sexual play this can be added to it, or if you switch can be a good way to define those roles in a more human capacity.
If your partner something that you don’t think you can cope with then clearly say so.. Say.. this is a no-no.. obvious no-no angles for women are using the diapers (that’s predominately – but of course not exclusively – a guy thing) or your man being too submissive are the two major turn-offs for women whose boyfriends drop the ageplay bomb on them. The wet and messy side is pretty obvious as to why it can be perceived as negative for many people but a simple thing like the man showing excessive vulnerability can be a real passion killer for many women it not what they need at all. But … on the plus… If he wants you to regress for him to look after then this is a good indication that you have a caring, affectionate and loving partner that’s probably ready to make the step into actual parenthood ( which maybe a good thing or a bad thing depending on your own point of view )
Lots of people have a hard time mentally breaking the taboo that ageplay is connected with real children.. fear not – it truly truly isn’t its a connection to their own lives fears and stresses . And all respected authoritative bodies know that, so you don’t have to worry about that angle either.
Either way. how ever you feel you both have a great opportunity here, he has been brave by taking a huge risk and opening himself up to and you are being wise by actually not dismissing him out of fear and contemplating it and looking for information to help you choose which way to go next. If this is something that you can negotiate and find a solution that can work well for you both then it will cement your relationship with a strong bond and trust and openness as neither of you will have to hide desires away from the other and your relationship will be all stronger for it.
If you want any more specific advice about the potential path that lies ahead for you both, with ideas tailored to your unique circumstances, then drop me another line with what you can tell me and we will keep that conversation private.
(That offer goes out to anyone reading this btw. I always answer these starter questions are generally as I can to help as many people as possible, but humans aren’t general and relationships are always specific)